


Mistakes Aren't Always Bad

by Texeoghea



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Legos texting, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, and having sex, and it actually did start with us arguing, joker considers robin his child, oh boy, this series is a bunch of RPs I'm doing with my batsy boo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 13:23:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10103234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Texeoghea/pseuds/Texeoghea
Summary: Batman and Joker get into a text argument, which stems into Joker angrily typing "COME SUCK MY DICK". This is the story.





	

J-Bird: Hey Batsy!

Batsy: what do you WANT joker

J-Bird: I didn't do anything bad ALL day! Did you notice? Aren't I a good boy?

Batsy: um.  
sure.  
i guess.

J-Bird: You're so nice.

Batsy: NO IM NOT  
SHUT UP  
I HATE YOU

J-Bird: GASP  
I hate you too!!!!

Batsy: STOP  
AAAAAAAARGH

J-Bird: Hahaha!!  
You're so CUTE when you're mad

Batsy: i'm not talking to you anymore

J-Bird: Wanna see a picture of our son

Batsy: yes...

J-Bird: (birdson.png)  
I just missed him saying "Hot diggity dog"

Batsy: Damn

J-Bird: Batsy watch your language!  
There are children!

Batsy: OUR CHILD'S NAME IS DICK

J-Bird: IT STANDS FOR RICHARD

Batsy: ITS STILL DICK  
DICK

J-Bird: I DONT CALL HIM THAT  
I CALL HIM ROBIN  
BECAUSE ITS CUTER  
AND HES A LITTLE BIRD

Batsy: ITS NOT HIS REAL NAME  
A LITTLE DICK

J-Bird: HIS REAL NAME IS TECHNICALLY RICHARD  
YKNOW WHAT WHY DONT I CALL HIM AND ASK HIM HUH

Batsy: Alfred calls him "master dick"

J-Bird: fine go ask him  
also don't say "little dick" in the context of our son ever again  
in fact just. Don't say it in general.

Batsy: I WILL CONTINUE  
YOU  
I DONT NEED TO  
CAUSE HIS NAME IS DICK

J-Bird: Why don't you come suck MY dick?  
FUCK I DIDN'T MEAN TO SENT THAT

Batsy: MAYBE I WILL  
SHIT

J-Bird: FINE

Batsy: NO  
I DIDN'T MEAN IT

J-Bird: Didn't you?

Batsy: No

J-Bird: I could come suck yours~

Batsy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

J-Bird: Whaddaya say, Batsy?

Batsy: ...fine

J-Bird: Be over in ten, Batsy~

Batsy: ...fuck

***

Batman sat on his bed, staring at his phone. "What did I just get myself into now?

Joker walks through the front doors, waving at Alfred who nodded back. "Don't worry about announcing me, Alfie, Brucie already knows i-"  
He's interrupted by Batman rushing in, lifting up Joker and bolting back to his room. Once inside he locks the door and pins Joker against a wall. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! I CAN'T HAVE PEOPLE KNOW YOU'RE HERE"  
"Oh please, Batsy," Joker scoffed. "Alfred, Robin, and Barbara already know."  
"ROBIN TOO?!"  
"Batsy we just had this conversation, like, 20 minutes ago. He's our son."  
"Oh, yeah..."  
"Now, anyway. Onto the business i'm here for..." Joker grins at him. "I'll try not to bite..."  
"Dear god, please don't." Batman sighs. He undoes his belt and drops it to the ground, starting to take off his suit when Joker giggled and pushed him back onto the bed. "OOF! Hey, what's the big idea?!" Batman protests loudly. Joker giggles again. "Is that a batarang in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? Besides, I was planing to have a bit more fun after this...' He trails off as Batman pulls an actual batarang out of his pants and tossed it to the ground. "Forgot that was in there."

Joker stares at him. "Seriously?" Batman shrugs. "Okay. ANYWAY..." Joker pulls off his bat's pants while Batman removes his torso armor.

"Well? It ain't gonna suck itself!" Batman says impatiently as the Joker playfully tugs at his boxers.

"Hush, Batsy, i'm taking my sweet time..." He licks at Batman's tip before dipping his head down to take more in. Batman growls, then groans. "You're getting lipstick all over my dick, J-Bird." Joker giggles so hard he had to pull off before he accidentally bit of Batman's dick. "Sorry, Batsy!" He chirps before going back down. He makes a purring rumble in the back of his throat as Batman runs his fingers through Joker's hair. Joker suckles his way to the base of his bat, humming at the light tugs at his hair. He laps at the underside, grinding his tongue against it. "Oh fuck..." Batman grips Joker's hair harder and pushes his head up and down. Joker simply grins around his mouthful, bobbing his head and wrapping his arms around Batman's waist. "J-Bird, fuck, i'm about to-" He growls again as he bucks his hips, coming into Joker's mouth. He makes an indignant little squeak before swallowing it and pulling off, licking his lips. "That was fun, but I think I know something even MORE fun..."

Batman lies back in bed. "Don't even think about it." Joker lays on top of him and nuzzles his neck. Why not?" He pouts. "The others will wonder where I am..." His excuse is lame. Joker calls him out, "I think they can live without you for another few minutes... Or hours." He ruts against the bat beneath him. Batman growls. "Fine-FUCK!" Joker grins at his outburst. "I knew you'd come around!"

Batman scoffs. "Yeah, whatever, just strip already." Joker huffs. "Elegant as usual..." He sits up and starts to peel off his suit. Batman was about to tell him to go faster when Joker pulls his slacks off, revealing a pair of Batman briefs. "What. Are. Those." Joker giggles loudly. "Harley and Ivy found them and Harley thought they were funny. Do you like them?"  
"Sure, fine. Whatever." Joker frowns. "if you're going to be rude, I can just leave..." Batman sits up at that. "No! No, i'm..." He trails off. "S... sorry..." he says quietly. Joker smiles again. "Aww, I forgive you, Batsy!" He places kisses all over the Bat, smudging lipstick on him in the process. "Now, are you going to fuck me..." He grinds against Batman for emphasis. "...Or not?" Batman pushes him off and pins him to the bed. He growls and thrusts into the Joker hard, grinning.

The Joker yelps, and then trails off into a long whine. "Least you could do is give me a WARNING, Batsy..." He trails off at the grin, but doesn't have long to think about it. Batman thrusts again, setting a ruthless pace. The Joker whines loudly, "aah! Aah, oh, shit... Batsy, Batsy, harder- fuck!" Batman halts and shushes him. "Keep it down, will ya?" Joker covers his mouth and whines again. Batman picks up his pace again, leaning over the Joker and lifting up his hips. The clown makes desperate little sounds and grabs the sheets with one hand. "Mmm, mm-aah!" He yelps and lifts his hand when Batman bucks into his prostate particularly hard. Batman keeps going, but shushes him again, growling. "Fuck Batsy, I can't-" He gasps. "Choke me Batsy- Fuck-" His back arches.

batman grins, and puts both hands on the Joker's neck, squeezing. Joker fists his hands in his hair as his mouth gapes in a grin, drooling. Batman is fueled with rage; he thrusts and strangles the Joker like they were in combat. Joker wraps his legs around his Bat's hips. He's so close-

Joker lets loose a strangled sound as he comes, squeezing his legs. His drool was running down Batman's hands. The Bat yells and thrusts once more, coming inside the Joker, only then letting his neck go. Joker gasped, feeling the blooming bruises on his neck. "Fuck, Batsy, you get better every time..." He pants, desperately trying to get his breath back. "I know," Batman says as he stands and starts to get dressed. Joker laughs breathily. "Aww, over so soon?" Batman rolls his eyes and climbs bad onto the bed, laying down next to Joker and wrapping his arms around him. Joker grins, snuggling up to his bat.

"I hate you," Batman whispers, pulling the covers over them. "I hate you more." The Joker replies immediately. "I hate you the most." Joker giggles sleepily. "I hate you... more than the density of a black hole." Batman sighs. "You're my worst enemy." Joker grins at that. "Aww!" he coos. Batman pulls the Joker closer and hides his blush in his green hair. "Goodnight, Batsy."  
"I am the night."  
"Oh my god."

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't the end. There's more in this series. Go check it out if you want.
> 
> My co-author and i are kin with Lego Joker and Batman and do role-plays. I really like some of em, so we're turning them to fits and posting them here!


End file.
